For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying something new – turning off my mind and tuning in to the present. Regularly. And this simple practice has truly changed my life.

I stumbled upon Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of Now, completely by accident. A friend had recommended another one of his books, A New Earth. But when the library didn’t have it on the shelf, I grabbed The Power of Now on a whim. Later, I did pick up the other book, and I’m not sure which one I enjoyed more. They both did more for my life in a couple of short weeks than any single book I’ve ever read.

Before I had children, I probably spent most of my time “in my head.” I just didn’t realize it. I mean, it didn’t affect my life all that much. When you’re alone in your car or at your desk or on a run, the voice in your head is kind of nice company. Quite frankly, I think that I spent a lot of time talking to myself. And it wasn’t really an issue.

But once I added two small children to my days and nights, that voice in my head became problematic. Most new moms experience increased worry and anxiety. Well, those emotions become an unhealthy habit if you’re constantly yelling, “FIRE!!!” and running for the exit door — which doesn’t exist, so you just continue running around in circles in your mind with the panic button still  on.

I was feeding myself all kinds of horror stories all day long … what might harm my child, or me, or their father, what I needed to do next, what I hadn’t done yet, etc. It wasn’t all negative thinking. But Echkart Tolle’s book just made me realize how much time I was spending THINKING instead of BEING.

And what he said, which had never actually occurred to me before, is that I have control over these thoughts! I can make that internal voice stop by focusing for a few moments on my breath and my surroundings. And then, voila! I’m present in the moment.

What’s really great is that I don’t have to DO anything different, like meditate for 20 minutes every day or do yoga. I’m sure those things would help, but it’s as simple as recognizing “the voice” for what it is — the imagination on overdrive — and just turning it off.

It’s amazing how much peace I’ve found in my life now that I’m not always interrupting myself with unnecessary thinking.

Most moms I know struggle with guilt. When we’re working, we feel guilty that we’re not playing with our kids. When we’re playing with our kids, we feel guilty that we’re not working.

Those of us who are arts-and-crafty blame ourselves for not spending more time hiking and biking with our children, while we outdoorsy-types feel guilty that we don’t expose our wee-ones to more arts-and-crafts projects.

It’s a lose-lose situation – and really kind of funny, if you think about it. What’s interesting is that “guilt” seems to be epidemic with our generation of mothers. But like so many aspects of 21st-century parenting, I don’t think that our foremothers could relate.

I’ve spent a lot of time with women whose days of child-rearing ended before the second World War began … and they just didn’t experience “guilt” as young mothers. Why is that? 

First of all, I think they were just too busy. Yes, we’re busy. But we’re busy in a totally different way.

While mommies of today run companies, drive carpools, and  dash around town picking up and dropping off this and that, the mothers of yesterday were starching and ironing sheets, canning vegetables, baking pies from scratch, sewing dresses, and folding diapers.

They were physically occupied every minute of every day. They didn’t have the luxury of time or the burden of modern psychology to fuel the fire of self-doubt and second-guessing.

I think that the expectations of parenting were different then, too. Children were not the center of the household. Their opinions, wants, and (sometimes) needs came second to those of the adults in the home. For better or for worse. 

A mother’s life was not about pacifying her children. It was about keeping them clothed, fed, and bathed.

Nowadays, we crave a relationship with our kids that is much more complicated. We talk a lot about quality time and connectedness. My grandmother looked at me cross-eyed when I once asked her if she ever played games with her five daughters.

I’m not sure how to keep us all free and clear of the mommy guilt-trap, but I do know that it’s all relative. At the end of the day, if we plan well and allocate our time wisely, we are gifted with more time with our kids than possibly any generation of mothers that has preceded us.

Instead of over-thinking it, we should embrace these precious moments for what they are, feel grateful that we aren’t darning socks, and then guiltlessly move on.

Gracie has a brilliant memory. I have a feeling that it might be photographic. She says that she “sees” the scenes that she plays out for me blow-by-blow in the life-story interview that I’m doing for her. (I just launched a personal histories arm to my business – in large part due to my relationship with Gracie.)

Gracie can tell me what she was wearing, what the weather was like, and what she ate during certain seemingly insignificant events throughout her life …. beginning around age 3. I can barely remember what happened two days ago. And I’ve got 60 fewer years to keep up with!

Perhaps it’s just good genetics. Gracie’s mother lived into her mid-80s and sounds as if she was a rather sharp woman until the end. But I also have to wonder if her unusually acute memory is the result of more than just good genes. 

Gracie doesn’t waste her time dwelling in the past or fretting about the future. And even though you could argue, “well, what would you expect? She’s 96,” I think she’s always been someone who lives fully in the present. She celebrates every moment – often with a clap of her hands and a laugh. I don’t think that these are traits you pick up this late in life. I think she has always lived this way.

So why can she remember in minute detail the interior of the church where her son was married over 40 years ago, when I can’t even tell you what I had for breakfast yesterday? I think it’s because she drinks in her surroundings, doesn’t take one moment for granted, and says a silent “thank you” for every breath she takes.

The rest of us often are just plundering through life, doing a half-dozen things at any one moment – or at least thinking about them. Gracie lives a life of faith, trusting that God will see to all of those minute details that we run ourselves ragged trying to control. 

She just goes with it – and knows that it’s all going to work out just as it should. And so she’s free to notice the depictions on the stained-glass window, the words her husband says to her as they walk through the door of the church, and the color of the dress her son’s new mother-in-law wore that day. 

So I tend to think that Gracie’s memories are so vivid because she really lives each moment …. with all of her mind, body, and spirit. She never fails to “show up” in the here and now. And her unwavering faith gives her the ability to let go and to be fully present to the miraculous details of the world unfolding around her.

I guess the lesson learned here is that if I want a “memorable” past, I need to work a little harder at living in the present today.

In recent months, I’ve committed myself to cutting back on my coffee intake — with a limit of one cup of regular brew per day. In the past, I would make a pot of coffee in the morning and sip on it throughout the day. One cup at the break of dawn, one around mid-morning, and then a pick-me-up between 3 and 4 p.m.

Now that I’m enjoying only one mug of joe every 24 hours, I’ve noticed that I relish it like never before. I sit down, hold the cup snugly in my hands, breathe in its sweet aroma, and take my first sip. There’s no rushing around the house with a quick swig here and there. For me, that cup of coffee in the morning is to be savored … because it’s the only one I’ll get.

This morning, as I was tenderly cradling the mug in my hands, it occurred to me that all things seem to taste, look, and feel better when they’re in limited supply. 

The recession has forced many of us to cut back on our consumption of items we previously may have taken for granted, whether it be dinners out at a restaurant, new clothing purchases, or home renovations. But I think that there’s a case to be made that the special-occasion dinner out tastes a lot better when it happens once a season instead of once a week. 

In the end, we may discover that doing with less leaves us with a greater sense of appreciation for the luxuries we do have — when we have them.

“You can be bigger socially than you have ever been in your life. That’s sure. (But) you can’t grow socially unless you help others grow also.”

Wiliam H. Danforth, 1931

During those first few years of motherhood, my social circle grew immensely. I suddenly found myself reaching out and connecting with women like never before.

My formerly introverted self was now carrying around a pen and paper for chance phone number exchanges and then actually calling to set up “play dates” (for our then 3-month-olds.)

Those friendships that developed during the early days of motherhood are still incredibly precious and sustaining to me. But I recently realized – as my energies began zeroing in on my own rekindled career objectives – that my “rolodex,” so to speak, was comprised completely of women between the ages of 32 and 42 with two to three kids each and a husband.

It had never occurred to me that this was a problem. In fact, I would have gone merrily along my way had I not been forced by my business objectives to break out of my mold and meet new people. And wow! — I was shocked at how great it felt!

As I move throughout my days now, getting together with people from so many different walks of life, ages, and backgrounds … I feel a tremendous energy that I haven’t felt in years. It’s a kind of social energy, I guess. And I had no idea that it was missing in my life – until now.

I’ve joined a local networking group, as well as another association related to my line of work, and I’m getting ready to add one more women-in-business organization to my list.

Someone made a comment at one of these meetings recently that none of us would be there (at the meeting) unless we were solely motivated by the need or desire to grow our business. Well, I have news for that person.

I may be out to lunch on this one, but I like to think that we’re also there to help each other grow. I know that I am.

Nothing feels better than to help someone else achieve their goals, whether they’re professional or personal pursuits. It doesn’t matter. In the end, it’s really all personal, anyway. We’re all people – with hopes and passions and dreams.

What a great moment it is when we break out of our narrow mindset long enough to fully appreciate those heartfelt aspirations in another person. To me, that is the “social energy” that makes all things in life and business possible.

And when that can happen, the experience of being part of a business group or a social network or whatever you want to call it is so much more fulfilling than being holed up in your office or kitchen, for that matter, alone with your thoughts and ideas.

“There is no secret to good health other than just plain, good common sense.”

William H. Danforth (1870-1956)

The winter cold and flu season is upon us. Since the beginning of November, every member of our family has taken turns nursing a runny nose, infected sinuses, or a hacking cough.

As I drink gallons of herbal tea and tote around wads of tissue paper in my coat pockets, I think about how nice it is to be healthy …. and how much I will appreciate the energy and zest that will one day return to me once I can stop blowing my nose.

But, in the meantime, I can’t help wondering, “Could I have prevented all of this by taking better care of myself?” Quite possibly. Every winter seems to bring the same health and wellness pitfalls.

When the readily-available fresh fruits and vegetables of summer become less and less … well, readily available, my diet suddenly takes a huge hit in vitamins A & C. I also tend to drink much less water in the cold season, trending more towards hot chocolate, tea, and yes, a little too much coffee. And during the variable weather of early winter, I am more apt to fill my exercise quota indoors, which consequently cuts my exposure to fresh air down quite a bit. Another culprit is the late nights, where I find myself sitting here at the computer long past a healthy bedtime.

I am making a slightly tardy New Year’s resolution to try and do better – for myself, and also for my family.

We definitely run a pretty tight ship when it comes to good lifestyle habits in our house, but it’s the little things that are easy to let slide. And those are the things that seem to add up on the sly (like an excess of sugar over the holidays and too much caffeine during a busy work week).

We may not be able to completely dodge cold and flu season. But we can at least put up a good defense – with a balanced diet, fresh air and exercise, and a good night’s sleep.

With a rather indulgent Thanksgiving weekend just behind me and several weeks of holiday reveling waiting in the wings, I am trying to strike a healthy balance between celebration and responsibility.

I’ve read plenty of magazine articles that purport the idea of actually dieting during the holidays. A trick that one writer suggested (and one that I’ll never forget) was to eat a bowl of cereal prior to attending a social gathering. That way, party-goers won’t be tempted to eat all of those delicious, once-a-year goodies. The self-deprivation approach may work for some, but it definitely isn’t for me.

I have always been a believer in embracing life to its fullest – and that certainly means drinking a little eggnog and eating a few Christmas cookies every December. But I also know that I need to take care of my body to be able to enjoy all of the other fun activities of the season. 

Here’s my plan for enjoying some of the decadent food and drink of the season, while still making some healthy decisions for my body:

Water

An herbalist once told me that, based upon my body weight, I should be drinking about 80 ounces of room-temperature water per day. I rarely do. But with the heat in my house cranking, this is a good time of year to start. From my hands to my eyes, I’m definitely in need of better hydration. And it’s such an easy lifestyle adjustment to make. Although I crave warm beverages (like tea and hot chocolate) as the temperatures drop, I will try and balance those mugs of steaming beverages with plenty of water.

More Tea – (And Less Coffee)

Most health experts agree that too much caffeine is not a good thing. I really enjoy a cup of coffee first thing in the morning. But there’s no reason it can’t be mostly decaf. When I buy coffee these days, I try and fill my bag with 3/4 decaf beans and 1/4 regular beans. That way, I can drink more than one cup (which I always do) and not do a number on my body. If I need a little pick-me-up later on, then a cup of black tea seems to be a healthier choice. And herbal tea, of course, is probably the best.

Fresh-Air Exercise

Depending upon the weather, this can be a very tempting time of year to exercise indoors, if at all. But I think that there are untold benefits to breathing a little fresh air while we move our bodies. A daily run or walk definitely keeps my energy up and probably helps me make other good-for-my-body decisions throughout the day.

Warm Baths

At the end of the day, I need a little treat for myself. But I’ve learned that it doesn’t have to be something sweet. Slipping into a hot bath with a cup of herbal tea and a gigantic glass of water by my side, I can completely skip that scoop of ice cream or handful of chocolate chips. Plus, I’m relaxed and ready for bed at the end of it .. which leads me to my last tip for good health this holiday season.

Quality Sleep

If I’m tired, then I tend to lose my focus when it comes to healthy habits. I am more likely to eat too many sweets, drink too much caffeine, and not exercise enough. So ensuring a good night’s sleep is key to optimal health. This time of year in particular, I try to read something uplifting before bed … like an inspiring Christmas story or poem. And before tucking in for the night, I do five or six nice, long stretches, take some deep breathes, and then say a prayer for all of my loved ones. It’s a really nice way to end the day.

So there. The holidays really do come but once a year. I hope that my little plan will keep me feeling good so that I can enjoy every last minute of it — eggnog and all!

My son and I were tackling his weekly kindergarten homework assignment the other day. The tasks are usually fairly simple -walk through town and count the pumpkins, draw a picture of your family, etc. But this time, the teacher threw me a curve ball when he included ,”Do five push-ups and five sit-ups.” 

Of course, my son didn’t know how to do either a push-up or a sit-up. I’m guessing that teaching him these basic fitness skills was the goal of the assignment.  Instead, it provided a humbling experience for his mother. Although I do my fair share of cardiovascular exercise, I will admit that I haven’t done a push-up since college. I always hated them.

This was the first time that I can ever remember feeling embarrassed in front of my five-year-old. I’ve always been physically superior to him – I mean, he’s only four-feet-tall. But my attempt to touch my nose to the floor in proper push-up form was not entirely successful. He managed three to my almost-one.

We both had a good laugh. But I was feeling a wave of panic emerge beneath this good-hearted chuckle. There isn’t a women’s magazine in the world that hasn’t published an article about osteoporosis. I’ve read them only halfheartedly – until now.

I don’t exercise in order to fit into a certain-size pair of jeans. I just want to be young and healthy for as long as possible – able to keep up with my kids and feel good when I wake up in the morning. Walking, running, and skiing always seemed to be enough.

But I think that my mid-thirties have snuck up on me a little. Maybe it’s time to start doing a little more. With the threat of osteoporosis looming around the corner, some good old-fashioned strength-training might be a good idea. For now, I’m just praying that pull-ups aren’t part of next week’s homework.