“Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to the country and to mankind is to bring up a family.”

- George Bernard Shaw

As I begin to finalize my list of goals for the upcoming year (and boy, I have a lot of them!), I keep coming back to this quote by George Bernard Shaw (1856 – 1950). These words, written so long ago, remind me that even if I don’t achieve each of my personal and professional aims by the time I ring in 2010, I still will have had a successful year if I have managed to stay focused on my loved ones. 

In today’s world, we measure our success through so many other means … whether or not we get that promotion or score that assignment, how much we can stash away in savings at the end of the year, where we can take our family for that week-long vacation, etc., etc., etc.

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to achieve. It’s a defining part of the American culture. I know that I have to constantly fight that inner voice that’s telling me, “Produce! Produce! Produce!” at the expense of pulling me away from the experience that’s in my immediate grasp, whether it’s cooking dinner or playing Legos with my kids.

Unfortunately, the success garnered by preparing a meal or building a fantastic fighter-jet out of plastic parts is not as measurable as a job title or a paycheck.

But that doesn’t mean that those intangibles should “weigh-in” any less. In fact, I think that I’ll keep that quote by George Bernard Shaw on my refrigerator door as a reminder that my greatest successes in life will not be measurable. 

New Years provides a great opportunity for looking at one’s life from the outside-in … as if we are spectators on the sidelines, watching our lives unfold. How did we perform in the last round, and what are our odds in the coming match?

But I think that I’ll try a new approach this year – observing this annual milestone from the inside-out. How have my actions over the past year impacted the lives of those around me, and what will I do in the coming year to bring love, comfort, and joy to both my family members and my friends?

From this revised perspective, that tasty lasagna and freestanding plastic sculpture suddenly fly to the top of the list of New Year’s Resolutions.

“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.” 

Leo F. Buscaglia
1924-1998

Photo taken by Tia Serre

With Thanksgiving just a couple of days away, I wanted my three- and five-year-old to have a general sense of what the holiday is all about. But for young children, what does it really mean to be thankful? — Besides blurting out a well-scripted “thank you” when they’ve just been given something that they really, really wanted. 

I couldn’t come up with any brilliant ideas, so I pilfered one from The Simple Mom (http://www.thesimplemom.wordpress.com), who creates a Thanksgiving Tree with her family every year. She draws a bare tree on a piece of paper, and then, over the course of a couple of weeks or so, family members write down the things or people that they’re thankful for on multi-colored leaves and tape them to the tree. Although she recommends beginning the project in mid-November, I decided to cram it all in at once. Just my style — fast and furious.

In the end, I think that my kids got something out of it. The activity at least gave us time to sit down together and talk a little about what we value in our lives — our stuffed animals, our friends, our school. 

But I am now left with a nagging question in my mind. Just how can a kid who has never really wanted for anything, except maybe a box of Spongebob Squarepants cereal, really understand gratitude? The only answer that I can come up with is that, at some point, kids should be exposed to those who have less. They should participate with their parents in some kind of service-related activity. 

Yep – that’s us, parents. We need to be reminded, as well, that we are indeed blessed … and that our blessings bring with them certain responsibilities. Although we can easily (and understandably) become consumed with caring for our own little families, we have to remember that there are others out there who need us too.

There is a story that is circulating around the news this week (http://www.komonews.com/news/problemsolvers/34241094.htmla) about an eleven-year-old boy whose dying wish was to feed the homeless. With only two weeks to live, he inspired thousands to give to others less fortunate than themselves. 

What a lesson we can learn from this little boy. If he was able to accomplish this miracle from the confinement of his bed in less than two weeks, what can each able-bodied person do in his or her lifetime? Or better yet – what are we willing to do? This Thanksgiving, I am asking myself this question … as I reflect back on a rather privileged life. 

Perhaps the most important bi-product of gratitude is the desire to share our good fortune with others. 

Let’s stop and give thanks for each of the leaves on our respective Thanksgiving trees. And then, with our kids in tow — let’s take a cue from a little boy with perspective well beyond his years, and start giving back.